Recently, I formulated a simple testimony contrasting my journey to God and the problems that ensued as I opened my heart to his great love. Love brought me and kept me! And continues to keep me.
Gathering alabaster involved the floors of caves and often prepared to house costly perfumes, like spikenard. The vessel itself contained the perfume. The cargo proved to be more precious than the container. But this lovely container had to be broken to pour out the powerful fragrance
Also, with my alabaster heart, broken, it poured out an obvious fragrance, as I worshiped through the breaking.
I will never forget the day I opened the Bible and realized that God loves me. What? Really, he loves me and is not holding a mallet over my head waiting for me to do something wrong? Benevolence and God, surely not together. I mean, I hadn’t been to church in quite a while. Then what about those pesky sin issues, mortal and venial? Surely both were an issue.
For some reason, in my young 20’s the love revelation took root in my heart. Oh, it did! And so fully that anger arose, “Why hasn’t anyone told me this?” Upset that all my years of teaching no one opened a Bible to share this great truth. Smiling, I’m sure it was there somewhere. But my fragile, insecure heart only remembered the judge of the universe part.
I can’t even begin to explain in words how that truth changed me. Powerful! The Bible really became a love-letter to me and a great source of wisdom, desperately needed. If I could describe it… while living in the low deserts of Arizona, outside of Tucson, dry, hot, brown. But after a very brief rain I noticed the tiniest flowers on the brown, rocky earth. I wondered, so small, are they flowers? I stooped down, yes, tiny petals, flowers, low to the ground but blossoms. Exactly like me, at this point, low to the ground but blossoming.
There the carving of my alabaster heart began, a blossom to be reckoned with!
I ran headlong into this while the enemy ran headlong into me. Also, a force to be reckoned with! Caught up and working hard to change an abusive relationship with two children to protect, I thirsted for wisdom. I consumed the book of Proverbs like nobody’s business. Psalms blessed me, David’s troubles, ha, I could relate to every one!
But then, prayer forbidden in my home, Bible burned, yet a Satanic Bible appeared on the shelf. Abuse, drugs, the gates of hell thought it would prevail! No, love’s power poured spikenard into my alabaster heart.
And surely the gates of hell thought they had me when a loaded, cocked gun met the side of my head and threats rang through the air. But no, this low-to-the-ground blossom met the Prince of Peace. Maybe tiny petals but peace filled me, and the firearm aimed instead at a piece of wall art that represented me. My alabaster heart gained more spikenard.
Torn and tattered, rejected and alone, the enemy again thought he had me. He leveraged just the right scenario to get me out but the wrong person. More spikenard!
Two miscarriages, the enemy thought he had me, more spikenard.
Moved far from family and friends, lonely but found unfamiliar beauty. More spikenard.
Years of profound stress and loneliness brought me to this pinnacle: A dear friend ushered me around her beautiful property. Arizona at its finest. Atop a deep canyon the enemy whispered, “If you jumped all your troubles would be over.” Was that a lie? No! Death removes the present troubles. But love filled my heart for my children. Amen. Ahh, more spikenard in my alabaster heart.
Moved to my house of dreams. Children, acreage, animals, taken away. Broken to the point of lay me down on the cold wood floor, given up, no more loss! Wrote an essay entitled, “Life = Loss”. Still this low-growing blossom held me close. This love birthed in just a little bit of rain had grown to a stout standing upright sunflower. More spikenard!
Brothers died in accidents. Heartbreaking. More spikenard!
Grieved Grandma and Dad. More spikenard!
Children off course. More spikenard!
Life does not equal loss as you load spikenard into your alabaster heart. Very loaded right now, happiness to overflow. Thankful.
Spikenard which Mary of Bethany poured on Jesus after breaking the alabaster flask had to be gathered at the high heights of the Himalayas, 9,800 ft. to 16,400 ft. It took the rhizomes of the plant and crushed it, distilled it into a fragrance that families used as part of their dowry. The richer families gave more. So now, the richer your heartache, the harder your journey, more. For sure, I have so much spikenard in my alabaster heart that when you see me crazy in worship, it’s the spikenard pouring out of my alabaster heart!
Linda Potter 